"Flushing"

My husband and I often joke about the fact that I dated lunatics in my single days. Case in point: I had been dating one said lunatic for close to 9 months or so when we met Said Lunatic's lawyer-colleague in a restaurant. Colleague later asked SL (Said Lunatic) about moi. SL felt compelled to tell Colleague all about me, but being highly meticulous and known for being an always-correct-infallable-genius, SL asked me where my mom worked because he had to get all the details in about my fam. "Flushing, Queens," I replied without much pre-pondering (I mean, after all, who exactly "ponders" that sort of detail?). SL let Colleague know. Later that night as I was hanging with SL, he turned to me and asked "Where, again, did you say that your mom works?"

"Forest Hills, Queens" I replied without thinking twice.

"You *(%(#*#%* )#@ %$*@%*##!" (use your imagination) he replied, his face turning red, smoke coming out of his ears. "YOU TOLD ME 'FLUSHING', NOT FOREST HILLS, AND YOU MADE ME - SOMEONE KNOWN FOR ALWAYS BEING CORRECT AND PRECISE - LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT IN FRONT OF MY COLLEAGUE!"

I left confused and unable to form words. Said Lunatic would go from loving BF to raving mad man in a millisecond quite often, but this was the straw that finally broke the camel's back. Very soon after, I got over my initial shock and dumped him.

When I finally met my husband (long after consulting with the post office that yes, Forest Hills is part of Flushing) who is NOT SL, I was able to realize upon reflection: If you have to measure the distance between Flushing and Forest Hills, you'll never get very far in a "relationship."